24 s07

As I said, I don’t think much of 24’s storytelling these days.

Intro
Three minute recap of every single fucking thing that’s happened in the season so far.
Repeatedly reference the government conspiracy and how Jack is the only one who can save America.

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Scene One – Usually CTU FBI headquarters

Guy in power
So what’s happened in this season so far?

Nerdy-and-socially-inept-but-very-good-at-her-job girl
Ur, didn’t the three minute intro cover all that shite?

Guy in power
I’m giving the orders dammit!!

Nerdy-and-socially-inept-but-very-good-at-her-job girl
Ur, ok… So Jack is working under the radar against this massive government conspiracy that threatens the country and so on.

Guy in power
Isn’t that the recap of season 1-6?

Nerdy-and-socially-inept-but-very-good-at-her-job girl
It’s still the same.

Guy in power
Oh.

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Scene Two – Usually The White House

The President
What’s Jack doing?

Senior Advisor
He’s currently working under the radar against this massive government conspiracy that threatens the country and so on.

The President
Wasn’t that just said in the previous scene, and in the intro before that?

Senior Advisor
Yeah, but some people might be stupid.

The President
An excellent point. They might forget Jack is working under the radar against this massive government conspiracy that threatens the country and so on.

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Scene Three – Terrorist Hideaway

Head Terrorist
Mwahahahaha, let’s set off this massive bomb or something, but lets wait an hour first.

Henchman
That’s stupid, why would we wait an hour? It’ll never work anyway, NONE OF OUR PLANS HAVE EVER WORKED BEFORE.

Head Terrorist
That doesn’t mean they won’t work this time!

Henchman
Oh, the guy who’s really high up in the government conspiracy that threatens the country and so on is on the phone for you.

Head Terrorist
(on phone) Well!

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Scene Four – Jack’s doing some anti-terrorist shite

Jack
Talk dammit!
*tortures suspect*

Suspect
Isn’t this kinda shit morally wrong, banned under the Geneva convention and the rules of war?

Jack
Not for dirty terrorists!
*tortures suspect*

Suspect
What if I’m innocent though? Wouldn’t I just lie to stop the pain? How can you justify doing this?

Jack
You’re not innocent, everyone I torture is a dirty terrorist and knows stuff!!
*tortures suspect*

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Scene Five – CTU FBI

Jack
I “interrogated” that guy and got the information.


FBI guy in a suit
Yeah, but you tortured the fuck out of him. You’re a fucking nutcase, I’m arresting you.

Jack
But there are more dirty terrorists to torture.

FBI guy in a suit
Oh. Fair point, you’re free to go.

—————————————————————

Scene Six – Random place

Actor A
We’d better recap the plot again.

Actor B
Wtf, two of the five scenes have already been used as recaps!

Actor A
Another won’t hurt.

Actor B
Fuck sake… Jack’s working under the radar against this massive government conspiracy that threatens the country and so on.

Actor A
Isn’t that exactly the same plot as every other 24 season so far?

Actor B
Yup.

Ad Break I

Repeat to fade